Life choices · Reflection

“It’s my life… It’s now or never. I ain’t gonna live forever. I just want to live while I’m alive…”

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Well, Bon Jovi says it. We ain’t gonna live forever, so why struggle so hard to fit into society norm and ended feeling miserable myself, right?

So recently I have been thinking alot about my life. The choices I made, my job and my family. Why the sudden thought? Well, ever since I moved out (ok kicked out) from the house, I was forced to learn how to make life choices for myself which consulting any older generation or instructions. Previously, my dad made all of the choices in my life, from elective modules in school to my career, from eating habits to my fashion, etc. I was living the greenhouse nursery like the young plants even though I was already 27.

And so one day I woke up to realise, why am I always feeling so miserable? True that I don’t really love what I am doing right now, although I enjoyed it sometimes but…it really isn’t what I want in life. And the worst, everytime I told my dad about it, he thinks its crazy and wants me to stop dreaming my life away. Well see, that is exactly my point! I want to achieve the things I have dreamt about! I have always wanted to be an art lecturer!

As a female growing up in an asian family. You need to understand that even though it is already 2017, some parents still does have their mind sets in gender inequality. My parents are the classic exemplary.
My mum, as always, think that there isn’t a need to strive so well in life. After all, some guy will set their eyes on us and take us to their home, re-naming us under his. So my mum would always ridicule at my dream of being a professional artist or an art lecturer. My dad likewise, whom decided that my career must be a soft-spoken, gentle teacher (which I am completely opposite of those btw) teacher because…well…I am a female and that is an ideal job for all females, apparently.
And so yup! I got so tired from being manipulated by the adults, that on this faithful day, I bursted my balloon.

So, now that I am on my own. I really want to be a professional artist. I know I will starve along the way, but still…should I?

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